| howdy |
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| 10:00pm 16/11/2009 |
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Hey, I haven't been here in a while. How are you guys doing? |
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| Day 2 |
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| 10:34pm 27/07/2009 |
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Day 2
We woke up in Barranco Backpacker Hostel in Lima. Took a while to get out of bed...Allison took even longer. Shot the shit with some of the other people at the Hostel. Ate wheat rolls with butter, bananas, and tea for breakfast.
We left the hostel with Julie and Stuart, our new French and British friends. It was surprisingly chilly outside, so I wore a hoodie which they comically called a ´jumper´. We took a cab to the Plaza de Armas. Wandered around, found a cafe where we drank pisco sours and tea. We wandered around a bit more, then took a cab to La Choza Nautica for ceviche. The ceviche (ceviche negro, ceviche erotico, ceviche blanco y ceviche mixto) was amazing, so we drank lots of Cuzquenas in celebration. I peed in the broken upstairs bathroom despite warnings from the waiters. The lights had paper bags over them, that was cool.
We left the restaurant, and took a cab to the Museo de Oro in a shopping center in Miraflores. Wandered the museum with audio devices. Saw lots of Sepan gold, as well as Inca and Wari. Returned to the Hostel to set up a trip to Ayacucho, a small city in southern Peru tomorrow. Went out to get Chifa (Peruvian-Chinese food) at Restaurante Javier.
Returned and drank beers while playing movie soundtrack trivia. Even though my team was named The Winners, I lost. Then I watched Borat on the hostel TV until I fell asleep. |
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| South America Day 1 |
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| 09:42am 27/07/2009 |
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mood:  thirsty
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Ok, I pretty much suck a fat one when it comes to updating my Livejournal. It´s not like my life has been one blank space since 2002, when I was in my Livejournal updating prime. But as some of you may or may not know, I´ve been traveling a bit since I started working as a teacher full time. Right now, I´m in the middle of the third day of a 5-week trip to South America.
I´m going to attempt to note down everything I do, then post it on here. Salud!
Day 1
I left my apartment yesterday morning (7.26.09) at about 8am. I hailed a cab, which is usually pretty easy in my neighborhood, but today was surprisingly a pain in the ass. The best part of the ride was getting a flat tire on the Grand Central Parkway, pulling over and walking to Parsons Blvd to hail another cab. I was very worried about missing my flight, especially since no cabs (not even the tacky black expensive ones) were showing their ugly faces. Eventually, one picked me up and I rode to the airport. Got there in time, surprisingly. No lines for TACA air.
My first flight was uneventful. Shitty movie, good food. There was applause at the end of the flight, which is always weird. What the hell are you applauding? I met Allison at the airport in San Salvador - she had been there for about 7 hours already. We bought some crappy sandwiches and took our next flight to Lima.
Again, good food, shitty movie. Somethign where Renee Zellwigger frowned a lot. There was lots of turbulence. We arrived, without applause this time - I guess the people weren´t satisfied with how God delivered us to Lima. Bag check took forever. We had a cab waiting for us, which took us to the Barranco Backpackers Hostel. It´s an extremely nice place, in the neighborhood Barranco, right by the beach. Got some sandwiches and walked around a little bit, then returned and shot the shit with other backpackers. Went to bed.
Stay tuned for part II: ACTUALLY DOIN´ STUFF |
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| 07:19pm 27/03/2009 |
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I just went to the accountant and did my taxes. What's the least responsible way I can spend my return before it's even deposited into my account? The best suggestion gets a thumbs-up and a cheerful 'hi-yo'. |
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| THE MYSTERY OF THE VANQUISHED VOLUMES |
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| 07:09pm 01/06/2008 |
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I think that I'll nominate Edgar Allen Poe's "The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar" for having the most disgusting ending of a short story, ever. The version in my book ends with the words "detestable putridity," while the Internet version ends with "detestable putrescence" - you tell me which is grosser.
A couple of weeks ago I had jury duty. It was spectacular - two days of reading books and forced Reese Witherspoon movies. I went online and prayed really hard that people would email me or post to my facebook, but I guess sometimes God just isn't listening. Anyway I got back to school on the next Monday, took a pile of half-completed assignments out of my mailbox, and went to my classroom.
On my desk was a note from the sub: LOOK WHAT 722 DID. Underneath were three copies of The Outsiders torn, no, shredded, to pieces. I was stupefied. Destroying books is particularly offensive to me, and the quality of the destruction was infuriating. My homeroom shuffled in. After their initial disappointment in realizing I wasn't absent, a few of the nicer students asked me if I was okay. I told them I wasn't sick, that I had jury duty, and they laughed at the word "duty."
I took attendance and silenced the class. I held the books up, and said nothing. Someone called out that it wasn't him - I looked in his direction and he put his head down. Then I told them that until I found out who did this, the entire class would get lunch detention. They all groaned and complained, and said they didn't do it, but my homeroom is notorious for mistreating subs and getting away with it. I told them that this time it wouldn't be so easy, and I dismissed them.
My honors class came in next, and I taught whatever crappy lesson I had planned without even mentioning the destroyed books. They giggled at the word "duty" as well. Overall, the lesson went splendidly.
Then my next class came in, and I immediately reamed them out for the books and gave them the same threat that I gave my homeroom: lunch detention for a week until I found out which savage destroyed my books. Their response was a bit more muted, since this class has the general demeanor of a vicodin addict, but they still were unhappy at the indefinite prospect of not being able to toy with their sidekicks and drool on themselves during lunch. I taught my lesson and then dismissed the class.
Satisfied that I would discover the culprit in no time, I sat down at my desk and thumbed through those massacred copies of The Outsiders. They really were fucked up. When we started the unit I had told my kiddies that our book supply was limited, and that if any books were lost or stolen it would mean sharing during their independent reading time. Even 7th graders know how awful they smell - close proximity is a punishment much harsher than mere detention. I put the books down and perused the note that the sub had written: LOOK WHAT 722 DID. Look what 722 did? That was my honors class! The one class I hadn't yelled at, because of the ridiculous assumption that these particular seventh graders were somehow above the savagery of my "lesser" classes. And I, like a self-satisfied ass, had let them get away with it, while reveling in the stupid stereotype that since my gen ed classes weren't as strong intellectually, they were somehow less moral. I was infuriated with both myself and with the honors kids who hadn't even said a word despite knowing that some tool had not only made their substitute teacher's life a living hell for 43 minutes, but had also egregiously destroyed books that their class wasn't even reading.
They were in math class. I knocked on the door and asked their teacher to speak for a minute. I held up the books, and their faces turned white. I told them the same thing - lunch detention indefinitely. A girl raised her hand - I told her to put it down, that if she wanted to let me know what happened I'd be in my room after school, waiting.
It took about 45 minutes for a half-dozen honors students to parade into my room, ready to sell out the one boy whom they accused of committing the crime. It went like this - the class was acting terribly, everyone was talking, running around the room, and acting crazy. One boy, Alex, who has some serious self-control issues, went over the line - he tore the books to hell inside his desk, and then threw them into the air, so that, in the words of one of the more poetic depositions, "the pages fell upon us like the softly falling snow." Then everyone laughed and continued tormenting their sub. I asked them why they weren't willing to divulge this information until after they were threatened with punishment, but I already knew the answer.
It was because it doesn't matter. The sad truth is that books are considered trivialities. They are simply obstacles in the way of idle free time, which these kids are accumulating exponentially. I know it makes me sound like an old fart to claim that children are wasting, learning nothing, watching screens and hypnotizing themselves into stupors, and it's unfair to condemn those exceptions who do actually read, and better themselves intellectually - but so many of my kids, and kids all over the country, are so complacent that they consider the act of physically destroying a book to be a virtue. They see fragmented and partial information gleaned from the Internet to be superior simply because of its ease. And God forbid the digital cable goes out or one of us scratches Call of Duty 3.
Alex was given a few days of in-school suspension. I have three less Outsiders books than students in my largest gen ed class, so six kids are sharing now. I suppose I can end this on an up-note and say that they're enjoying The Outsiders "more than any other book I've read" (according to one student, whose statement was met with general approval). Some even expressed interest in reading other books by SE Hinton, aside from the ones assigned to their groups for the duration of the unit. We'll see. But what can motivate a population for whom tearing a page is considered comedy, and turning it is an abomination? |
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| TMI? |
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| 07:46pm 13/05/2008 |
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Howdy!
For the past 6 or 7 months I've been descending into the hell that is online dating. I've found it important, for some reason, to find a girlfriend, something which happens to me about as often as America elects a democrat. And since I can't connect with women on any romantic level in real life, I figure talking to them through an uncomfortable little chat box is a reasonable substitute.
I began with OkCupid, but did it half-assed. I sent a few messages out here and there, but mostly got either nothing or bullshit in return. So after having a spiritual reawakening while in Israel (Israeli girls are hot) I shelled out $80-odd to sign up for Jdate for two months. The first month was consistently disappointing: my first four dates stood me up. After that the girls got progressively nicer, but chemistry was almost non existent and conversations were pleasant but strained. Apparently dating me is like throwing a rubber ball at a wall for an hour. So after my two months of Jdates (which ended ingloriously - I was stood up again) I decided to stop wasting my money and return to the much freer OkCupid.
My first date was with Juliet, who was a very sweet Jamaican girl studying chemistry at Columbia University. Unfortunately the chemistry stopped at Columbia University, and even though she was charitable enough to have sex with me, we came to the mutual decision that the sex was awful. We never spoke with each other again. Then came Jaime. Our conversations online were promising at first, since we were both interested in road trips and drinking beer. We went on a date to the Jack Kerouac exhibit at the New York Public Library, where I learned that Kerouac neurotically cataloged ever girl he ever slept with, kind of like what I'm doing here. I brought her to a party on our third date, where we got drunk and had mistake sex. We hung out one more time before we both realized we were kind of bored with each other, and she messaged me on Okcupid to end it. That was very courteous of her.
The last girl was Leah, who I met on one rainy night in Green Point. We drank beer in a dive bar and really enjoyed each others' company, while some extremely hairy hipster openly fingered his girl in the booth behind us. The waitress asked them to calm themselves, but that was enough for us to change over to Union Pool, where we got half-drunk and danced and made out by the bathrooms. That was nice, I thought, and I looked forward to our next date, where we got dinner in the East Village, and then hung out in Tompkins Square. For the next two weeks we were almost inseparable. I made her dinner a couple of times, and we saw Antigone at Barnard, performed in the original ancient Greek. I learned a lot about her, and she learned a lot about me, and everything seemed to be going well.
She then warned me that things might change. In her not-too-distant past, she had experienced some pretty awful trauma, and she had been in therapy for the past few years. Now that her therapist was moving away, she told me, she might do strange things or act harshly to me: she warned me that she knew this because of prior experience, and that I shouldn't take it personally. I told her that was fine and that I understood, since I was beginning to become emotionally invested in her and I figured that she couldn't possibly be any more emotionally handicapped than myself. I told her that I liked that she was open with me, and that I wanted her to trust me.
So another week passed, and her therapist left. I spoke with her that night and she said she was okay, that she was going to see a friend of hers to talk about what she was going through. She said she would call me back the next day.
She never did. I tried calling her a day or two later, and I left a message. A week passed and I heard nothing. I sent her an email saying I understood if she was feeling shitty and needed her space, but that I wanted to know if she was okay. Again, no reply.
I still haven't heard from her, which is a shame, because out of the dozen-odd girls I had dated over the course of the year, she was the only one who I really liked. She did warn me that she might act strangely - I didn't expect her to withdraw entirely. It actually sucks more having the possibility of a satisfying relationship dangled in front of you, and then cruelly snatched away. I know that what I'm experiencing is not necessarily unique, but that doesn't make it any less easy. So it's back to OkCupid for me. I'm even considering shelling out another $40 for Jdate, because I'm a jackass and I'm unable to learn from experience.
I suppose that my first entry in 5 months should contain something more than overly personal details of my half-existent romantic life? I'm getting very tired of teaching middle school, so I've been in the process of gathering letters of recommendation from old professors so that I can enter a PhD program in Fall 2009. I'm studying for the literature GRE, which is a real bitch, and I've been gathering research for a major retooling of a paper I wrote while earning my masters. Aside from that, I spent 6 days in Honduras with several of my coworkers - pictures are up on my facebook. If you've made it this far, let me know how you're doing. I know I've been a bad friend and haven't kept up with your updates, but I promise I'll make it up to you. |
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| 11:41pm 14/01/2008 |
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Updates!
I just finished my grades for the second marking period. Lots of students did no work, and failed. Many students did great work and passed. Several students have names which sounds like "fart" if pronounced incorrectly.
Never followed up on my day-by-day log of Israel in August. That's okay because I'm going back in February. I don't think anyone read it, anyway.
Honduras in April! Going to see ruins at Copan and Quirigua. Hopefully will avoid getting violated by amorous howler monkeys.
Still no girlfriend, because of anti-semitism. That's right, even the Jewish girls.
My parents and sister are healthy. Dad wants to vote for John Edwards, Mom wants to vote for whomever Dad votes for. I like Barack Obama but I want to tell my Dad I like Guiliani to get a rise out of him. I'm not sure who my sister is voting for so I'll save that for another entry.
I've started wearing hats. There are so many different styles of hat that I can't choose my favorite. Right now "trilby" is at the top of the list.
I finished reading War and Peace. Now I'm reading Portnoy's Complaint, which although shorter has significantly more descriptions of ejaculate per page. Philip Roth is the Tolstoy of ejaculate literature.
Josh moved to North Carolina, so I moved into his room. It's bigger than my old room and has more closet space. This entry in the list will not end with a joke.
Happy new year! |
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| 02:35pm 01/12/2007 |
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Holy shit, I was just taking a jar of my delicious homemade meat sauce out of the fridge, when a hand reached out of one of the vegetable drawers and tried to pull me in! I snapped my hand back and almost knocked my elbow into the refrigerator door.
It might have been a reflection of my own hand in the plastic, but I'm not taking any more chances. You'll never take me alive, refrigerator monster. |
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| 02:55am 25/11/2007 |
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What's with all the young, able-bodied men and women sitting on the streets of New York with dogs and cute signs, begging for money? Is this a scene? Homeless for fun? |
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| someone help me here |
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| 09:52pm 10/09/2007 |
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Here's the lowdown. Tonight, after celebrating my mom's birthday, I come home to Astoria. There's a letter for me, airmailed, with stamps from South Africa. My address is hand-written on the front, and addressed directly to me, Joshua Schulman. There is no return address.
I open up the envelope. It contains two things:
- A check for $3,750, on a JP Morgan Chase Bank check. From what I can tell, the check itself looks legit. It's watermarked and microprinted.
- A letter, which says the following (all grammatical mistakes are reproduced verbatim):
Covette City Austin LTD
12190 North Mopac
Austin TX 78758
USA
Prize Notification
Your Claim Number ESC/11500369/25
We are pleased to inform you that you are one of the third category winners of lottery draw held on 25th SEPTEMBER, 2005. Your ticket with serial number 67739252 drew the lucky winning numbers. You are therefore entitled to a payout of US $ 500,000.00 payable to you by bank draft, money order or certified check. In line with government regulation, you are expected to pay a non-resident government service tax of USD$3,200.00 as well as customs duties which will be worked out by your local custom department. Enclosed is a check of US $3,750.00 to help you pay the non residence tax.
The tax amount is US $3,200 and payable to our Office in Canada by Western Union or to our liason office in Durban by moneygram. You are requested to contact your assigned claim agent, MR DAVID MORGAN on The Telephone number, 011-27-73-544-7696, on the receipt of this notice for further instructions on how to claim your big winning.
NOTE: The Telephone number is 011-27-73-544-7696.
Congratulations
Yours truly
[this is the bizarre part - the signature says "Herbert Hoover", and is identical to that of the former president]
HENRY HOOVER
PRESIDENT
Okay, I'm certain this is a scam. Nothing seems to add up. South African stamps? Austin, TX? Covette City Austin, a company which doesn't come up in any Google searches? Office in Canada? Durban?
But the check looks legitimate. I'm wondering, how could someone in South Africa get my name and home address? And if I cash this, what's the worst that could happen, aside from the check bouncing? |
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| Day three |
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| 03:01pm 27/08/2007 |
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8/8
Woke up hungover. Got lost on the way to breakfast, wandered around the kibbutz like a tourist until I finally took a risk and opened a door. Bingo! Breakfast: eggs, etc.
Bus ride to Golan Heights. Saw the 6-Day War Memorial. The landscape is beautiful - it overlooks the kibbutz where were were staying, although the kibbutz is hidden among the features of the landscape. After the memorial we visit Katzrim, an ancient, ruined city with a number of unfinished buildings decked out to look contemporaneous with their own time. The city also has a 1500-year-old synagogue, which, although ruined, is still recognizable as a synagogue. The Jewish religion is fascinating - two thousand years since the destruction of the second temple, and the circumstances of worship remain nearly identical. The group shares a moment of silence, and then reflects.
Onward to a Golan bunker overlooking the Syrian border, built into an extinct volcano. (I don't remember the name of the park, does anyone have that detail?) The landscape is fascinating, especially the contrast between the Israeli farmland, which extends outward from the valley below the volcano, and an emptied Syrian city less than a kilometer away, which was abandoned (for propagandistic reasons, apparently) and moved about ten kilometers north. Even from a distance, I can see the city overgrown with vegetation - I imagine Chernobyl looks similar. There is an explosion on the Israeli side, and a subsequent cloud of dust - blasting? This is fascinating to watch from an elevation of several hundred feet.
We run around in the bunkers, and weave our way through the corridors built into the mountain. There are old, Yom Kippur war-era turrets that Israeli children are playing in. We play in them next. Maitri discusses the circumstances of the Yom Kippur War.
We go to lunch in Maas'ade, a Druze village. Ate falafel, hummus, lamb souvlaki. I think it's delicious, although I don't think the rest of the group agrees.
We wait 15 minutes to digest, then head to a tributary of the Jordan for a water hike. The hike itself, along a path following the tributary, is slowed and clogged by a massive jam of orthodox families with their children. Some of us jump in the water and swim our way down. The water is freezing, but refreshing. I try to sit on a rock but they're slippery as all hell - I'm afraid I'm going to fall on my ass, but I don't. A piece of trash floats by, and we're chastised (unfairly) by an Israeli woman on the bank. We hang out a little longer, then head back toward the bus. Evan and John go missing, but we find them at the buses. I buy seltzer water at a gas station.
Dinner/drinking at the kibbutz. br608 is divided into groups, where we make up sketches about various Israeli stereotypes. Hilarious. Eventually we settle in front of the girls' cabins to hang out and drink Grey Goose. A couple of Israeli kids are playing guitar off on the side - I play a couple of songs, then Max and I talk politics with them for an hour or so. |
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| Day two |
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| 07:48pm 25/08/2007 |
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Morning: Breakfast at 6:45. We drive along the Kinneret (Sea of Galilee) To Tsfat, the home of Kabbalah, a form of Jewish mysticism discovered by Madonna in the late 90s. The city is amazing, it seems to grow organically out of the hillside, and is thronged with orthodox and Hassidic Jews. We visit Avraham, an artist who paints coded, esoteric imagery from the Zohar. He tells us his story: he was a student in Detroit, soul-searching, about to go to India to find religion. Then he read a book (Jewish Meditation), found what he was looking for, moved to Tsfat, and dedicated his life to Kabbalah. He's very enthusiastic, and is clearly dedicated to what he does. He explains some of his artwork, then sells a shitload of stuff to us. I buy the most complicated painting he has, because I'm a jackass.
Then we visit two ancient synagogues, both of which were destroyed in a 19th century earthquake and rebuilt. The first is Synagogue Hari, where the Lecha Dodi was composed. One more interesting thing about this place is a hole by the vestibule, made by shrapnel from a shell fired by Lebanon before the War of Independence. The second synagogue has two giant displays containing ancient books of Torah commentary, which (according to Jewish law) are illegal to destroy. Some of them are over 500 years old.
We walk through the market in Tsfat. I think I smell pizza; it turns out to be Lahouhe, a Yemenite food made with pita-like bread, olive oil, basil, spices, and tomatoes. Delicious. I drink lemonade with kut, which the Yemenite describes as "an energy drink, you know, cocaine." I buy a hamsa for my mom from a Lubovicher who asks me to put on tefillin, has me say some prayers, then takes a photo with me, but doesn't give me a copy. We all head to the bus.
Next stop, an IDF patrol in the Huleh valley, right by the Lebanese border. We talk with some soldiers, and explore a bunker facing Hezbollah villages, as well as current (and abandoned) Hezbollah bases. Explore a trench facing Lebanon. Our guide is an American expat from Atlanta who decided to dodge the draft during the Vietnam war, and ironically becomes a career soldier with IDF. Explains Israeli wartime politics, fields questions.
Afterwards, kayaking on the Jordan river. I'm in a boat with Jen, Shani and Blair. Ridiculous fun. I work the back of the boat while the girls rotate up front, and, despite hitting the riverbank and getting smacked in the face with twigs at every bend, we manage to navigate down the river pretty well. Local Israeli kids set traps for the boats and splash us with water. We splash back. At one point we pass a family of Hasidic Jews who are caught in an eddy. I jump out to help them but my boat ends up drifting away. I grab it and I'm almost split down the middle. I apologize to the family and jump back into the boat. They're probably still there.
Dinner: I eat a fish with the head still attached. It's very good, and I usually can't stand fish. Then we go to a bar across the way to dance for a half hour. Finally, drinking and nargila at a kibbutz. Great ending to a great day. |
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| Day 1 |
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| 06:30pm 25/08/2007 |
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From August 5-15, I was lucky enough to go to Israel with Oranim, an excellent birthright program which, despite some flaws, really did a good job of exposing its participants to the country. While I was there, I kept a journal, because I'm a dork. You can see some of my photos here and here.Here are my first few days:
8/5-6
My dad drove me to the airport this morning, and we were rushing because we left the house late and needed to be at JFK by 6:40am. Got there at 6:40 on the dot. Met Jen from LA, and the twins Shani and Blair from NY. Ate a muffin with them but couldn't finish it. On the flight, sat next to Jay, who's both a Yankees and a Rangers fan. He still seems cool, in spite of this. Met a lot more people from the trip whose names I will have to remember over the next few days. Took an Ambien but it did nothing. Slept in fits.
Arrived at Ben Gurion. We met our tourguide Maitri and our enforcer Enis, and our bus driver Danni. Busride to Jaffa at about 5am, where we ate croissants and wandered up and down a few old streets. Hymie was made into a human map of Israel. Saw the Tel Aviv skyline.
Next, Tel Aviv: Visited Independence Hall, which was originally an art museum. Smaller than I thought it would be. Brief lecture about the history of Israel's independence, and a taped recording of a spontaneous "Hatikvah" that was sung immediately before the Declaration was read. Small museum flanking each side of the hall, with original documents and drafts of the Declaration. On the other side, a Davidka. It's odd and strangely appealing to me that Israel became an independent state in an art museum.
Onward to Rabin square, where the prime minister was murdered. Nondescript. Below some scaffolding that wraps around a parking garage is a memorial, built into the concrete at the spot where Rabin died. There are small markers indicating the places where Rabin and his bodyguards were standing; the assassin, Yigal Amir, is not named. He is referred to as "Murderer."
Meeting with Momo, president of Oranim, at a hotel in Tel Aviv. Many of us have been awake for more than 48 hours at this point, and we are long past exhausted. Momo stares down anyone who dares talk or doze off. He's an old Israeli combat veteran, who is witty, old-school, megalomaniacal, terrifying, and possibly insane. He insists that we "make Jewish babies" and hit on Israeli women.
We take group photographs outside of the hotel, with the Mediterranean Sea as our backdrop. Then we hop on the bus to Caeseria. People are either sleeping or complaining that they want to sleep. The ruins are glorious. We watch a movie about the history of the city, then we explore the gift shop. Afterwards I have the chance to lag behind the rest of the group and photograph the baths, the tiling, a medieval Crusader church and a few other structures. The racetrack is awesome. The beautiful Coliseum, which stood out specifically in my memory from the last time I was here, is now home to a very modern stage and amphitheater. It's a giant eyesore, and I can't help but think that there are better places than 2000-year old ruins to host Avril Lavigne concerts, or whatever it is they do there.
Afterwards, dinner and drinking at the Hotel Prima in Tiberius. I go with Paul to buy nargila at a convenience store across the street. Not only do they not have cigars, but the word "cigar" itself seems to be untranslatable into Hebrew. |
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| 05:06pm 24/08/2007 |
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from Teachers Support Network <infonyc@teacherssupportnetwork.com>
reply-to infonyc@teacherssupportnetwork.com
to j-----.schulman@gmail.com
date 24 Aug 2007 14:09:23 -0400
subject An Important Message from the New York City Deapartment of Education
mailed-by b.lt05.net
Dear Joshua,
With the beginning of the new school year rapidly approaching, there are just two more Placement and Career Fairs being held...
-----------------------------------------
from Joshua Schulman <j-----.schulman@gmail.com>
to infonyc@teacherssupportnetwork.com
date Aug 24, 2007 4:39 PM
subject Re: An Important Message from the New York City Deapartment of Education
mailed-by gmail.com
re: An Important Message from the New York City Deapartment of Education
The "Deapartment of Education"? Come on!
------------------------------------------
from "infonyc@teacherssupportnetwork.com" <infonyc@teacherssupportnetwork.com>
to "joshua.schulman" <j-----.schulman@gmail.com>
date Aug 24, 2007 4:43 PM
subject Re: Re: An Important Message from the New York City Deapartment of Education
Dear Joshua,
If you need assistance with registering for the fair, please respond back with a specific question. This will allow me to assist you in a more effective manner.
Kindest regards,
Shirley Jean-Jacques
Teachers Support Network |
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| 02:35am 27/07/2007 |
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I'm going to make this quick because I'm drunk and either Canadian keyboards tend to stick more than American ones, or pink elephants are stomping on the keys and I keep pressing shit trying to swat them off. I'm in Ottawa, which is a fun little city - they have tons of live music, and a club called Tila Tequila, which may or may not be named after the famous livejournal harlot. Vinny and I didn't go there. But we went to a cool place called the rainbow pub with a great blues band and an owner who bought us and our group of local college girls a round of shots. Everyone said this city was small and had little do do, but we're having a grand old time. Plus we'r staying at a hostel that used to be ajail, and it still has death row and a gallows and a stock in the front where tourists like us take silly pictures.
Tomorrow we head out early to camp in Algonquin Provincial Park. Here's the plan: We park, pitch a tent, grill up some sausages, place them strategically around the perimeter of the campsite, and fuck up any bears that think they have a chance against us. I've been waiting to wrestle a bear for years. Years. |
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| Top three |
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| 12:50pm 18/07/2007 |
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Okay I've been thinking about this a lot lately - what are the three greatest construction tools ever made? The answer is easy:
3) The crane
Coming in third is the crane. The crane is so fucking cool. Look how tall it is. It's huge. The crane is used for lifting heavy things really high up, to put them on or attach them to other things. Like buildings. Respect the crane.
2) The crane
The crane takes second place, due to its form, its structure, and its elegant simplicity. This thing can do just about anything. It's so fucking cool. Here's a picture of a crane carrying another crane.
1) The crane
Is it any surprise that the crane is the best? This was an easy decision, because the crane is so goddamn awesome, and it blows everything else away, ever. Look at it. Look how tall it is. Imagine that you were at the top of this thing, looking out at the whole goddamn world, and smiling upon all creation because you know that you dominate it, due to the fact that you are the only motherfucker allowed to go to the top of your crane. It's your crane. You deserved it. The crane comes in first because it's better than everything. |
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| 09:45pm 17/07/2007 |
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So here's the schedule. This trip is going to be amazing, especially the Unibroue Brewery in Montreal. I'm going to drink Fin du Monde and Ephemere until my head explodes, a la Scanners.
Sunday
NYC - Albany
Albany - Adirondack Park (camp out)
Monday
Adirondack - Plattsburgh
Platts - Montreal
Tuesday
Montreal
Wed
Montreal - Quebec City
Thurs
Quebec City - Ottawa
Friday
Ottawa - Algonquin (camp out afternoon and overnight)
Saturday
Algonquin - (Northeastern Manitoulin and the Islands?) - Mackinaw City
Sunday
Mackinaw City - Ann Arbor
Monday
Ann Arbor - Cleveland - Ithaca
Tuesday
Ithaca - Home |
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| You will know us by our trail of dead...Canadians |
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| 10:16am 17/07/2007 |
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My quasi-Italian friend Vincenzo Soprano and I are leaving in less than a week for our second annual road trip. This time we're going to Canada, where we will admire the noble beaver, exploit the natural resources, entertain ourselves with their goofily-named currency "The Loonie", humiliate the noble beaver, and test the boundaries of that famous Canadian politeness. It promises to be an excellent trip, provided there are no extradition treaties.
Does anyone have any tips, information, or helpful hints? Does anyone have any suggestions as far as hostels, campsites, roadside attractions (especially anything that can beat "Foamhenge" in Virgina - NOTE: FOAMHENGE WAS AWESOME), touristy shit, good food (famous poutine locales will be accepted graciously), famous landmarks, loose women, easy slots, communist enclaves, aurora boreali, waterfalls, caverns, grassy knolls, polar bear wrestling, etc.? Here is a list of the possible places we will be visiting along the way:
JOSH AND VINNY HONEYMOON TOUR V.2.0
July 22-31, 2007
Albany, NY
Schenectady, NY
Adirondack Park, NY
Middlebury, VT
Burlington, VT
Plattsburgh, NY
Magog, QC
Montreal, QC
Ottawa, ON
Algonquin Provincial Park, ON
Barrie, ON
Toronto, ON
London ON
Saginaw, MI
Flint, MI
Detroit, MI
Toledo, OH
Cleveland, OH
Jamestown, NY
Rochester, NY
Ithaca, NY
Any help you can provide would be totally awesome. Suggestions on places to avoid (I'm looking at you, Flint) are also totally awesome. And if you live in any of these places, please come hang out with us! We are lots of fun, and when we drink we only physically abuse each other.
Thanks! |
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| 07:52pm 09/07/2007 |
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Hey I found two local tennis partners on Craigslist. The good news is I'm going to play for the first time in two years, but the bad news is I have to blow them because I'm all out of cocaine :( |
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| 01:22am 06/07/2007 |
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So I totally fucked up tonight. I ordered some chicken lo mein from what I thought was the Chinese restaurant across the street, but it turned out to be a different one. When I went across the street to pick it up, obviously they had no idea that I had even called. I thought they fucked up so I reordered my lo mein and ate it.
Now there's a poor Chinese gentleman waiting over some steaming hot unclaimed lo mein. Whatever should I do? |
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